Cable I Miss You

So here I sit, without cable and very much missing my morning news.  Thank goodness I’m not without my coffee *I love you*.  You see, I have given my 5  year relationship the boot, yep I did that .  It prolly wasn’t soon enough, however, I kept hoping things would change and get better.  Well, they had been for me, but I was being held back perhaps.  That and the other half was lieing horribly about finances, and we were living pay check to pay check as it were, there wasn’t room for err.  Smack that bitch up!


Things began to change a bit before though for me.  To turn the page way back, I had lost my checking account way back when I was married, due to another financial “stupidor”, and was only able to regain my status as a human once again right at tax season this year.  To my surprise I was able to be the proud owner of a checking acct. once more * hooray for me!*  It was such a wonderful feeling to be sure, very much independence.  Then I quit smoking, something I have tried to many times, ea. time getting only harder and harder, until I tried hypnosis.  I recommend hypnosis for anyone with an addiction….. it so works.  My mom told me afterwards how it seems that  I have been slowly wanting to make my life better and for me this time and no one else.  Hence the boyfriend as well.

Okay, so I find myself now caught up on all the bills, taking care of everything the boyfriend could not and disallowing myself the pleasures of cable *frownes*.  Perhaps I’ll find out I can afford Netflix, but until then I am stuck with anything I can find to torrent and watch.  Thank goodness for the Xbox 360 *claps hands* Think I’ll make a big list of movies to be downloading while I’m away at work, yep I think I shall do that
Right now a boyfriend for me is out of the question.  I want my own freedom, if things get screwed up, I want only myself to blame.  It’s just easier that way.  I want to get creative once again.  I have my graphics tablet but I want more than that.  I want to go back into making my cloth dolls.  Something I began a long time ago when I was married.  I really enjoyed it, my mom was getting involved.  It looked like it could be a profitable thing, but the hus at the time thought I wasn’t spending enough time with him.  And why should I?  He was a friggin’ alcoholic, seriously dud!  Though I think my tastes have changed.  My dolls used to have a country look to them, but I really like the gothic kinda look, so we shall see.  I haven’t been able to get all my stuff yet, but I”m itchen to get going.  Patience I know is a virtue they say *sighs*